Indecision is the key to flexibility.

If you find something you like, buy a lifetime supply, because they will stop making it.

All things being equal, fat people use more soap.

You can’t tell which way the train went by looking at the track.

Be kind, everyone you meet is fighting a tough battle too.

This is as bad as it can get… but don’t bet on it.

There is no substitute for genuine lack of preparation.

By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

Happiness is merely the remission of pain.

Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

Sometimes too much drink is not enough.